Everything changes when fame comes into play
Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash
Years ago I was able to ask a former neighbor why he only dated white girls back in the day. His answer was as surprising as eye opening. “Black girls wouldn’t give me any play,” he responded.
Despite being none of my business, it was something I halfway pondered in those early years. It never occurred to me that black girls didn’t have an interest in him. I’d assumed he just wasn’t into his own. His best friend who lived a couple blocks over was white. He threw a house party once and everyone was white. In reality, he became friends with and dated girls whom he resonated with. Dating his own was always an option. Sadly, it was a one way street.
In black culture, the rougher and tougher the more masculine. Speaking slang, having swag, wearing street wear is cool. Speaking correct english, being smart, and living on the straight and arrow is corny.
No one cares about the cornball until he marries outside his race or bags the pretty, popular cheerleader.
The latter being the case with Russell Wilson. Ten time Pro Bowl selection, Super Bowl champion married to R and B singer Ciara, Russell Wilson that is.
Throughout his marriage to Ciara, Wilson has been labeled everything from a “simp” to “corny”, by men who see his marrying a single mother whilst taking on the responsibility of helping raise her young son.
Black women have taken the opposite stance. Comments like, “If this is corny sign me up”, or “I’ll take a man like this any day,” flood posts speaking negatively of Wilson. While the comments are admirable, they don’t reveal a deep truth regarding black women and their dating preferences. For many, it is the bad boy who provides the “spark” or gives that tingling feeling in the right places. Most often, that guy is the worst match. Yet still women will hop from one to the next in search of that rush mistaken for love.
And that is where black women are falling short: chasing a feeling instead of CHARACTER.
Mind you, Wilson isn’t doing what he is because he’s with Ciara. What he’s doing is who he is. Had he never reached the NFL, he’d be the same with another less known woman.
Since turning pro, becoming the second black quarterback to guide his team to a Super Bowl win in 2013, black women were mum. The moment he began dating and marrying Ciara years later; subsequently punching his black card did black women begin to pay attention.
Truth is, every woman has skipped over a Russell Wilson or two in her life.
Russell Wilson is the band nerd.
He’s the quiet guy that floated through high school hallways unnoticed.
He’s the guy that secretly crushed on a girl whom was assured she wasn’t interested, and she wasn’t, until her options were sparse.
Any woman can have a Russell Wilson. Don’t wait until he becomes a “somebody” before taking notice.